Can these people go five seconds without using fellatio imagery? Fundamentalist men really do seem to have it on the brain:

Dear Concerned American,

Once again, an unpopular piece of legislation is on the verge of being forced down the throats of the American people.

And the American people still have their gag reflex!

Also, unpopular? Okay, I know the American Family Association lives in a la-la land of its own imagination, but 78% of Americans support DADT repeal. 78! I also know that Fundamentalists think they’re the only real Americans, but we all know that’s a load of crap and they’re just pissed because their worldview is dying off with them.

President Barack Obama and Speaker Nancy Pelosi are again using arm-twisting and backdoor deals in order to force open their laboratory for trendy experiments in the social engineering of our military.

Trendy experiments! Like the ones that all the other good militaries in the world conducted years ago! They were a success! Yay! Why does the AFA think our military is weaker than Israel’s? I mean, what the hell, you guys? I thought you dumb hicks were the “real ‘Murkans” and that “‘Murka can do no wrong.” But apparently, in your eyes, our military is full of a bunch of pansies who can’t handle being around gay people. (We, of course, know this is not true, because most of the military is already quite aware that they serve with gay people, and most of them don’t care. I guess they’re just not as scared of their shadows as the average leader of the American Family Association.)

Blah blah blah, more words, and then this:

This Thursday, Speaker Pelosi will attempt to circumvent the will of the people by ramming through an amendment to the 2011 National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” straight from the floor of the House of Representatives!

Mon dieu! Repealing a law?! In Congress?! What kind of precedent does this set?!

Allowing open homosexuals to serve in the military will decimate military morale and unit cohesion, introduce sexual tensions into same-gender accommodations and damage rather than enhance military readiness. Read our detailed report here.

Like it did in Israel. It’s sad that the Israeli military is so lonely and emo now, due to gays, and that they’re no longer equipped to drop bombs on Palestinian territories and Lebanon, again, due to gays, and…oh wait, excuse me, yes, the Israeli military is still one of the fiercest fighting forces in the world. So I think we’ll skip the AFA’s idiot ass report, and instead continue to read the reports put together by grown-ups who aren’t relying on their own bigoted interpretations of religious dogma to provide a cover for their intense fear of everything in this world that can’t be fit into their little tiny flaccid white boxes.

(This e-mail alert from the AFA was, of course, reprinted on the blog of St. Peter LaBarbera, patron saint of leathersex, so hat tip where hat tip is due. He had his own commentary about it, which can be summed up thusly: “Chicago-style, San Francisco valyews, jew-day-oh-kris-chin valyews, Obama lied when he promised to be a moderate Demon-crat, even though DADT repeal was one of his campaign promises, beep beep beep, honk honk, goodbye.”)