Look, y’all. We all know that the writers at GayPatriot are self-loathing, awful people, indeed, embarrassments to LGBT people everywhere. In the past 24 hours, the “Daniel Blatt” one was one of the only wingnuts on the entire internet to have a problem with Obama granting visitation rights to same-sex couples. Indeed, his post on the subject was so grotesque that Tintin at Sadly, No!, usually one of the greatest snark blogs EVER, dispensed with all silliness to throw down one of the most memorable, spot-on smackdowns I’ve seen in recent months. I won’t quote it here because this is a family blog, but suffice it to say that everything he said is true, and then some.

But now, the “ColoradoPatriot” one, who thinks he’s clever when he talks about the “Stalinization of healthcare,” as if that phrase reverberates anywhere except for the hall of mirrors he uses to have circle jerks with himself, has decided that you know what? Constance McMillen sucks:

Okay. So have you heard of this story where the high school girl who wanted to attend the prom with her “lesbian girlfriend” (I use the quotes because, really. Call me an old stick-in-the-mud*, but are high-schoolers self-aware enough to realize they’re lesbians already? And even if so, are we encouraging kids that young to identify themselves sexually? What ever happened to the innocence and beauty of youth? Ugh, but anyway.) was duped into arriving at some sham event while the actual prom was being held somewhere else?

Ugh, but anyway. Apparently Nick is either too old and senile to remember the fact the started getting boners looking at the underpants ads in the Sears Catalog at age twelve, or he’s just so eaten up by guilt that he’s bought into the entire Religious Right garbage about sexual orientation that he actually thinks he chose to be a self-hating faggot at age 25. I honestly don’t know which is the answer, but yes, Nick, high school seniors are more than capable of knowing what gender they’re attracted to.

Well, far be it from me to pick on a kid

Uh, no, apparently, Nick, close be it from you, because you’re picking on a kid, right this very minute.

Let’ presume the high school has at least a couple hundred kids, and that a bunch of them likely attended this “stealth” prom, right? And somehow, therefore, they were able to keep this girl completely in the dark about the whole thing? Like none of the high-school kids involved spilled the beans? She was totally unable to figure out that the entire school was in on the joke except her (and, apparently a couple “students with learning difficulties”)?

Yeah, haha, let’s laugh at those retards! Actually, it’s been reported that she did know about the other gathering, but unfortunately, she had enough faith in her fellow human beings to think that they’d attend the real prom.

Hm… Seems to me, she’ exactly the sort of inquisitive, self-introspective, get-down-to-the-bottom-of-it, fact-checker and independent thinker that the gay Left is dying to recruit. Surely they’ll be glad to have her.

When Nick says “gay Left,” understand that he’s lashing out, like Daniel, at all the men who don’t want to have sex with him, or talk to him, and definitely have tricked him into going to several hundred alternate locations in his time.

Additionally, let’ note that her reaction was to broadcast far and wide to anybody willing to listen that she’d been completely punked and embarrassed through her gullibility in hopes of garnering sympathy, rather than reflecting on how she could have been so credulous. This will likely also find her kindred spirits in the movement.

Actually, Nicholas, it was by then a closely-followed national news story, so that’s why it was reported.

So, between Daniel getting pissed off about the black president he can’t stand giving him the right to visit the husband he will never have in the hospital and Nick the ColoradoGaytriot seeing a story about a vulnerable high school aged lesbian living in the seventh circle of wingnut hell and choosing to side with the kids who screwed Constance and the disabled kids out of prom, I think we can safely say, “Wow, these guys are total assholes!”

This is why this writer doesn’t cheer for GOProud going to CPAC and surviving without getting lynched. Because if these are our emissaries to the conservative movement in the United States, we should sooner let them fester like the boils they are until the movement finally teabags itself into oblivion, because they do nothing but harm for the lives of LGBT people in this country, as they don’t fight for us, but rather, as Tintin said at Sadly, No! (yeah, I’m going to quote part of it, brace yourself if you can’t handle potty words), they

will sell out other gay people in order to curry the favor of straight Republicans who pat [them] on the head every now but then call [them] cock-sucking heels-in-the-air fudge-packed girlie-[men] behind [their] back[s].

It’s absolutely pathetic. I cannot imagine what kind of internal turmoil would have to be present in order to so fully embrace the Stockholm Syndrome of the GayPatriots, and I almost feel like I should pity them, but then I remember that I, too, was raised in a conservative Republican home and managed to make it out with my brain intact, to think for myself, and to value myself enough to demand equal treatment under the law. So what’s their excuse?