Once upon a time in a land far away (Naperville, Illinois) a pretty pretty princess was just minding her own business, conducting witchhunts against doctors of Bible at faraway universities and uploading pictures of dudes in assless chaps onto the intertubes. You know, princess stuff. When at her castle appeared an invading group called the “Southern Poverty Law Center” who crossed the moat into her peaceful solitude by suggesting that her website was actually, you know, a hate website. (Because, duh?)

But she feared not, for she knew that riding just behind on some sort of rabid donkey was her knight, Matt of Barber, carrying his signature right-hook (from oily man-wrestling days of yore) to defend her dignity:

Matt Barber of Liberty Counsel tells OneNewsNow the SPLC had done a fair job during the civil rights thrust in America in identifying and labeling neo-Nazi hate groups, ones that truly fall within the definition of hate.

“They have instead turned into what amounts to a leftist, extremist, partisan, Democrat organization, and they use the credibility that they’ve built up over the years as a weapon against people who have an opposing worldview, particularly to oppose biblical Christianity,” Barber explains.

Boo hoo. Perhaps what’s actually happening is that the SPLC is starting to notice that espousers of tradishnul values like Barber and LaBarbera are actually just bilious bigots, just like neo-Nazis? I mean, hell, at one time in this country, Jim Crow laws were tradishnul values. Sometimes tradishnul values have to be replaced by better values as the human race evolves.

In another “right hook,” Barber adds the following:

“But seriously,” continued Barber, “If AFTAH is a “hate group,’ then so is Liberty Counsel, Focus on the Family, Family Research Council, American Family Association, the Southern Baptist Convention and the Roman Catholic Church.

Okay.

“I can’t speak for the organizations with which I’m affiliated and, of course, I hate absolutely no one,” concluded Barber. “Nonetheless, I’d like to officially request that the SPLC add my name to its spurious “anti-gay hate list.’ It’ good for one’ biblical bona-fides.”

(Matt Barber currently, and proudly, sits on the board of Americans for Truth.)

Okay.

He asked nicely, after all. I had forgotten (for a brief moment) that Matt was on the board of AFTAH. So now we can officially talk about him as an affiliate of an SPLC-certified hate site.

Cheerio!

(h/t Right Wing Watch)