I have slept in beds I could completely see myself marrying.  They were that soft.  Obviously Rebecca Kleefisch, candidate for Lieutenant Governor in Wisconsin, sees gay couples and fears that down the road, people will be a-marryin’ clocks and tables.

Obviously.  Because clocks can sign contracts and stuff.  Sure.

You can’t make these people up:

“This is a slippery slope. In addition to that, at what point are we going to okay marrying inanimate objects? Can I marry this table or this, you know, chair? Can we marry dogs?” Kleefisch said in a recent television interview, no doubt taking some talking points from the Rick Santorum fan club.

Unbelievable.

Oh, I had a chaise longue that was really, really soft one time.  But I didn’t marry it.

UPDATE: The candidate is now very sorry that her anti-gay views were worded so poorly, and next time will try to mince words better.  Or something.