motorolaThe laptop of Monica Cole, director of the “One Million” Moms, must be seriously overheating these days! It seems not a week goes by that she doesn’t see a television commercial (how much teevee does she watch anyway?) that sends her onto the fainting couch, and then to her computer in order to fire off a missive complaining about this or that, to advertisers who seriously do not care what she has to say. Just a few days ago, she was very upset with Slim Fast for acknowledging that women are sexual beings. Before that, nudity was used for humor in a commercial for Rent-A-Center, and we all know that the human body is an evil, sinful thing. It’s especially evil when it’s on the Discovery Channel. And, of course, who can forget the hysteria that ensued when Kraft decided to use a sexy, naked man to try to sell salad dressing?

Her latest target of rage is this commercial for the Moto X Lazy phone, which is cute, and really not at all implying what Monica thinks it’s implying. Watch it first, and then check out Monica’s complaints:

And this is what Monica Cole sees when she watches that commercial:



First of all, it’s hilarious that the One Million Moms server is already blocked from sending e-mails to Motorola. But where Monica sees the “three adults in a bed” as some sort of suggestion of an illicit ménage à trois, normal people understand that the man representing the smartphone is there for comedic effect. This is obvious when he starts singing the “inappropriate Miguel song.” Of course, Miguel is one of the biggest mainstream R&B artists in the country right now, so Monica’s going to just have to deal with the fact that she is not the target market for art, in general. 

But what’s funny here is that, other than that, this is a pretty tame ad. It’s silly, and aside from the fact that the man is giving the woman a sexy massage (which is something that adult humans do), there’s nothing in there that would make a family (even Monica’s family, who I assume are not as pruriently obsessed with finding every nipple on television as she is) “uneasy.” If the massage bothers someone and a child asks, “Mommy, what are they doing?,” the parent might say, “he’s giving his wife a nice backrub!,” at which point the child will go back to playing with their toys and, strangely enough, this will not send the child onto a hell-bound path involving drug abuse and orgies. And trust me, the part at the end about “Sharon” will fly directly over kids’ heads.

I guess some of us are just better at explaining things to kids than others.

[h/t Joe]