Rob Gagnon is the smartest guy ever, according to Rob Gagnon.

Rob Gagnon is the smartest guy ever, according to Rob Gagnon.

Rob Gagnon is the man that some on the Religious Right consider their foremost intellectual heavyweight. This is very funny because Rob Gagnon is simply one of those rare Fundamentalists who can string twelve words together coherently, and thus views this as a license to write 4,000 word screeds when only a hundred will do. Box Turtle Bulletin has a lot of fun messing with him, and they note frequently that, man, he likes to hear himself talk. He considers himself a theologian of the first order, and people like Porno Pete believe that myth so strongly that they declare that he’s the one person the gay rights lobby is so scared of that they won’t debate him.

Riiiiiiiiiiight. For the most part, the legend of Rob Gagnon’s intellectual gifts is perpetuated by Rob Gagnon, and he starts whining when people don’t recognize how smart Rob Gagnon is. Here’s how Jim Burroway puts it:

Gagnon really hates it when nobody recognizes him as “the world’s leading authority.” When Gagnon thinks somebody somewhere on the planet hasn’t discovered his obviously superior scholarship and omniprescient insights, he runs to the keyboard to pound out another unreadable tome to demand the world’s awe. Two years ago, when BTB’s Timothy Kincaid dared to question what he saw as Gagnon’s “unorthodox approach to doctrine,” Gagnon responded with a 3-page rant, followed by a 15-page rant. When that didn’t provoke Kincaid to fall on his knees and beg Gagnon’s forgiveness for failing to see his utter genius, Gagnon responded with a two parter — at 5 pages and 19 pages respectively. When that failed to impress, Gagnon kept going, but we stopped counting the pages. Don’t worry, Gagnon didn’t. He compiled them all into one big file that topped out at 57 pages by the time we were done.

All of this was over a handful of blog posts.

Sounds like a lonely existence.

I bring this up because he’s at it again, this time talking at us in his bow-tie (mark of an extremely smart guy, you see, and you should know that Rob Gagnon is smart, both his parents told him so) about how gay men are only half-male, because, well, you see:

“You unite sexually with the one you perceive to be your sexual counterpart, your sexual other half,” Gagnon stated. “If you’re a man and unite sexually with another male, you’re basically making a statement that you believe your maleness is only half intact, needing to be supplemented by a sexual union with another man in order to make you a whole male.”

Oh, Robert.  I assure you I am fully male. Come up with a new convoluted (and completely smart, we promise, you’re smart, Rob, so smart) reason why your bigotry is reasonable.