Here is Tony Perkins, bidding a fond farewell to Michele Bachmann, via Joe:
“After an incredible run, Rep. Michele Bachmann announced that she’s retiring from Congress at the end of her term. For eight years, she served more than the people of Minnesota–she served the families of America with her tireless stand for conservative values. A proud voice for life and marriage, Michele never shied away from a fight–and our movement is better for it. We wish her all the best as she closes out her distinguished Hill career and starts out on her next journey. In the meantime, join me in thanking a dear friend and fearless leader for all she’s accomplished on behalf of faith, family, and freedom! We look forward to working with Michele in the House and wherever God calls her next.”
And here is Michele Bachmann’s “incredible run,” also via Joe:
As to “wherever God might call her next,” I think The Onion nailed it:
WASHINGTON—Saying that it’s the Lord’s will, Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann announced on her website Wednesday that she has decided not to seek reelection in 2014 because God wants her to earn millions of dollars working for a high-powered lobbying firm.
According to Bachmann, God spoke to her directly after many days of intense prayer and ultimately told the exiting Congresswoman that there is no reason she should only make $174,000 per year when she could easily earn up to eight times that amount in the private sector.
“This was a difficult decision for me, but God said this is a highly lucrative opportunity and I need to capitalize on my fame now before my high media profile diminishes,” said Bachmann, adding that the Supreme Being commanded her to “strike while the iron’s hot” and work for a conservative lobbying group like FreedomWorks or the John Birch Society or whichever one offers her the most money. “I would love to stay on and represent Minnesota’s 6th congressional district, but who am I to ignore God’s plan, which He said could earn me over $10 million next year and over $20 million the following year if I invest wisely, which God wants me to do as well.”
“God also wants me to make a lot of money on the speaking circuit,” Bachmann added.
Click over to read all the other things God wants for Michele Bachmann.
