Inter-species marriage may be a pressing issue in the inbred environs of Barton, VT, (wherever the hell that is) but I’m not VTsure how it applies in terms of the same-sex marriage debate. Unfortunately, in my hometown newspaper, The Burlington Free Press, some backward small town preacher man, Rev. Mark Heinrichs, from Barton actually argued in an op-ed that marriage equality should be prohibited because we don’t allow farmers to marry their cows. (Yee Haw!).

Here is what Pastor Heinrichs actually said:

For centuries society has limited the definition of marriage. One cannot marry until the age of consent. A father cannot marry his daughter, or a mother her son. A man can’t have five wives. A farmer cannot marry his favorite cow no matter how much love there is between them. These are value judgments society makes about who can marry.

I don’t know who this Heinrichs dude is, but make sure you lock your sexiest bovine in the barn when he and his congregation at Willoughby Haven Church are around.  He seems a little too wistful about not being able to marry Elsie for my taste.

People such as Heinrichs are so remarkably ignorant it is mind blowing. Earlier in his op-ed he uses the Bible as his source to deny equal marriage rights to gay people (even though we don’t live in a theocracy and I could give a shit what happens in his puny country church). Then, when is convenient, he cynically writes, “a man can’t have five wives.”

Yet, the same Bible he cited only paragraphs earlier, is packed with examples of polygamous and underage relationships. Furthermore, it seems that this silly shaman is unaware that traditional marriage excluded interracial couples, was rarely about love, and women were treated as property. I wonder if his little church is defending these “traditional values,” or does tradition only matter when it comes to discriminating against people that Heinrichs doesn’t like?

What separates hardcore fundies from normal, thinking Americans is that they have the inability to learn from experience. When confronted with evidence that contradicts their anachronistic beliefs, they quickly bury the facts and desperately grasp onto any trumped-up fiction that allegedly supports their atrophied arguments.

For example, gay marriage has been a reality in Vermont for several years now. It has caused none of the negative consequences predicted by religious fanatics.

Facts: The sky did not fall in Vermont. Ben & Jerry’s is still scooping ice cream. Heterosexual marriage was not negatively affected in any observable or measurable way. The sexy cows that apparently some may want to screw are still grazing in their fields.

Given the happiness marriage equality has offered same-sex couples, combined with the empty predictions of gloom and doom by fundies, why are people like Heinrichs still whining about the issue?

Shouldn’t they be groveling on their hands and knees bowing in shame, while apologizing for being so wrong on this issue? Don’t they have any sense of morality or common decency? If people like this were true Christians, they would humbly ask for forgiveness and admit they were dead wrong about everything.  Sadly, these are fake Christians devoid of conscience or humility, so I hold out little hope they will admit how off base they were on marriage equality in Vermont.

Heinrichs is not the only religious nut in Vermont. The Green Mountain Baptist Association has teamed up with churches in North Carolina to plant little hate houses here. Here is GMBA’s views on homosexuality:

All Christians are under obligation to seek to make the will of Christ supreme in our own lives and in human society. Means and methods used for the improvement of society and the establishment of righteousness among men can be truly and permanently helpful only when they are rooted in the regeneration of the individual by the saving grace of God in Jesus Christ. In the spirit of Christ, Christians should oppose…all forms of sexual immorality, including adultery, homosexuality, and pornography.

GMBA is affiliated with the discriminatory Southern Baptist Convention. It seems they have a mission for heathen Vermont:

As the least religious state in America, Vermont cries out for spiritual assistance. Can you hear the cry of her heart? Does it call to your own heart? Why not join our team of missionaries and his team of missionaries in reaching Vermont with the Gospel of Jesus Christ?

Hmm, so the Green Mountain Bigot Association wants to turn this lovely, tolerant, enlightened stGMBA-banner1ate and transform it into the backwater foothills of North Carolina. What a lovely vision for the future of this state. One, of course, that would drive out artists, high tech companies, interesting people, and decimate the state’s economy.

Their next big project is opening the doors of Northeastern Baptist College Bennington. Look out my friends, these folks have already ruined many parts of the south with their backward views — and now they want to bring the wisdom of Jerry Falwell to Vermont.

Don’t these people have anything better to do than to spread hate?

It’s a free country and people can plant hate houses wherever they want. But, I would strongly urge all Vermonters to stay vigilant if they hope to keep the state loving, intelligent, open minded and free.