lnSPOILERS: It’s not a fair fight. Linda Harvey is the most homophobic woman on Planet Earth, whereas Sandy Rios, though very hatey, really just kind of comes off as kind of kooky most of the time, and she’s a lot more polished and media savvy than Linda.

But Sandy Rios hosted Linda Harvey to talk about the anti-gay minority’s annual boogeyman, the Day Of Silence, happening this Friday in schools around the country, which brings attention to the problem of anti-gay bullying in schools. All of these quotes were lovingly transcribed by Right Wing Watch, who listen to all of these radio shows so others don’t have to.

First up, here is Sandy Rios explaining that there is no longer traditional curriculum in schools, it having been replaced by ’round-the-clock “how to be gay” classes:

Rios: You know there was a day when American public schools actually taught reading, writing, cursive, spelling, grammar, punctuation, English literature, British literature, American civilization, but no more. For the last twenty-five years the National Education Association has been cramming, twisting, perverting all academic subjects to the way of supporting homosexuality. Now in an activist move to really further intimidate anyone who would object to it they incorporated a few years ago what’s called the Day of Silence.

Now it’s all gay reading and gay writing and gay cursive (which was always sort of gay to begin with) and gay grammar (‘i’ before ‘e,’ especially in FIERCE, gurl!), etc.

Conspiracy theory time, with both ladies:

Rios: Common Core, do you know anything about what they’re doing to promote homosexuality? Do they have any stated goals with this?

Harvey: I don’t know the details, I do know that everyone believes that will be part of it as they get into the more social science areas, I think they are just in English language arts and math at this point, isn’t that the case? Even English language arts, oh my goodness, the choices for reading pro-homosexuals novels out there are vast; the publishing industry is going crazy. I have found many, many school districts recommend these on a selected and chosen school reading list and so you really have to watch for that.

Rios: If no other way, and it isn’t the only way, I guarantee you if you got kids in the public school this isn’t the only way but the reading lists, the suggested reading lists are enough to make your ears just smoke.

sandy_rios_AAll I know is that Glenn Beck is chalkboarding it up about Common Core, so it must be something that’s very threatening to wingnuts who have frequent fever dreams. I object to the contention that the average right-winger’s ears don’t “just smoke” upon seeing any sort of reading list past the fourth grade level or so, so that’s nothing new. (Mean, Evan, mean!)

Here comes Linda’s trademarked ferocious hatred and disregard for the lives of LGBT youth:

Harvey: Students pledge to be silent all day because they feel that as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered [sic] students or allies, that’s other kids, that they have been silenced over the years; many of us will be rolling our eyes at that one with the loud homosexual militancy in our culture right now. But that’s what they’re claiming and they’re saying that the issue of bullying is so rampant and it is traditional values that is causing all of these kids to be bullied, it’s causing hatred and that they need to engage in a silent protest against that. And of course we’re all going: what? You can prevent bullying and stand against bulling without endorsing homosexuality but our kids are being manipulated into thinking that this is a social justice issue and that they can just make this into a protest day and it’s this Friday in many schools, April 19.

Linda Harvey rolls her eyes, gay kids die. Hey, there’s a slogan.

Harvey: What we are saying is find out about your school’s position on this, call your schools and say, ‘are you going to allow students to be silent to recognize this Day of Silence, this pro-homosexual day, Friday April 19 or any other day that they designation…are you going to allow to remain silent to protest the Day of Silence,’ and if so keep your kids home. We suggest that you not let your children have to sit there in class and witness teachers condoning this, other students being allowed to be silent in class. This is political propaganda and it’s manipulating an issue of kids. Everybody is concerned about bullying and it is manipulating kids’ compassion but it is all for supporting homosexuality. So we’re suggesting to people, if that’s the situation, keep your kids at home.

Your kids are probably the bullies anyway, Linda. Of course we worry for those kids who are both “your kids” and also closeted LGBT youth. It gets better, you guys. Watch those videos after your bigot parents go to sleep.

The ladies end the discussion by encouraging right-wing fundamentalist parents to pull their kids out of school so that their parents have more time to brainwash them into the idea that their version of reality, where LGBT people don’t exist, actually exists.

And of course, as I said before, Linda Harvey wins the Hate Contest, holding onto her crown as the World’s Most Homophobic Woman.

If you want to hear the discussion with your ears, head over to Right Wing Watch.