sueQuick survey: if you were unmarried and you really wanted/needed to get health insurance or something, and you were either gay, straight or any other letter in the acronym, would you consider an opposite marriage to make that happen? You don’t have to answer, because we all know that it happens. Well, according to the chair of the Georgia Republican Party, Sue Everhart, legalizing gay marriage is going to open a floodgate of straight dudes marrying straight dudes for health insurance, because apparently in her world, nothing like that has ever happened before, in opposite sex marriages, since the beginning of time. Take it away, Sue:

Sue Everhart, chairwoman of the Georgia Republican Party, told the Marietta Daily Journal in a story published Saturday that once gay nuptials are legally permitted, there will be nothing to stop a straight person from exploiting the system in order to claim marital benefits.

“You may be as straight as an arrow, and you may have a friend that is as straight as an arrow,” Everhart said. “Say you had a great job with the government where you had this wonderful health plan. I mean, what would prohibit you from saying that you’re gay, and y’all get married and still live as separate, but you get all the benefits? I just see so much abuse in this it’s unreal. I believe a husband and a wife should be a man and a woman, the benefits should be for a man and a woman. There is no way that this is about equality. To me, it’s all about a free ride.”

But Sue! What if it’s a gay man and a gay woman, and they’re getting married for health insurance? OR what if it’s a straight man and a straight woman who are just best friends and have no interest in having a “traditional marriage?” Are you really unaware, Sue, that this already happens?

Nope, to her it’s all about a “free ride,” caused by the gays. Oh, and she has another reason for opposing it:

“Lord, I’m going to get in trouble over this, but it is not natural for two women or two men to be married,” Everhart said. “If it was natural, they would have the equipment to have a sexual relationship.”

Short version: Sue thinks it’s icky.

Thanks for contributing to the public discourse, Sue Everhart. Reasonable people will surely agree with you that the best reasons to oppose marriage equality are “welfare queens” and “the Bible says it’s gross.”

[image via TPM]