Here to help.
Here is something that started going viral on Friday, and it’s amazingly, hilariously real. Produced by Brigham Young University in Idaho, it details the struggles of a college kid (presumably) who just can’t stop masturbating, and none of his friends will step in to make him stop either. Suddenly, metaphor takes over and the kid is struggling to be saved from imminent death on the battlefield, which is, I dunno, kind of offensive to actual people who have fought in wars or the families of those who have lost their lives in war. But for these Mormons, it’s the same, I suppose. Finally, an extremely attractive soldier (pictured above) sees the dude from afar and decides to help a buddy out.
The end.
