ablowDr. Keith Ablow has never been one to examine issues with careful consideration, nuance or intellectual prowess; he tends, rather, to find the “hysterical made-up wingnut angle” of every story. It’s no surprise the that he has declared that, in the wake of 2013’s victories for marriage equality, marriage is officially “dead.” These people can’t wrap their heads around the fact that including same-sex couples actually strengthens the institution itself, because they’re too busy paying lip service to long-discredited dogma. His argument, though, is particularly ridiculous this time:

More than a year ago, when states began to legalize gay marriage, I argued that polygamy would be the natural result.  If love between humans of legal age is the only condition required to have the state issue a marriage license, then it is irrational to assert that two men or two women can have such feelings for one another, while three women and a man, or two men and a woman, cannot.

I have met would-be polygamists who cohabitate as groups and I can tell you that they seemed to be very committed to one another, to be very intimate and to be “in love.”

Gay rights groups criticized me for suggesting that their bid for marriage rights would lead to polygamy being green-lighted.

I received threats of being raped and being killed from gay people who didn’t like the point I was making and seemed to think I should be brutalized or die for it.

Really? And were these threats investigated or are you just being a drama queen, Keith?

Well, now U.S. District Court Judge Clark Waddoups has found parts of Utah’s anti-bigamy law unconstitutional.  His ruling comes in a case brought by Kody Brown and his four wives, who are featured in the reality TV show, “Sister Wives.”

I believe the U.S. Supreme Court will uphold that finding, if Utah challenges it.

Oh, Keith. Is it a Fox News requirement that you must misinterpret or deliberately misunderstand every news article you read in order that wingnuts may be maximally inflamed?

Yes, SCOTUS will probably uphold that ruling, considering the fact that all the ruling touched was the parts of Utah’s bigamy laws that banned unmarried cohabitation. That’s flatly unconstitutional, and for somebody who probably has screamed “FREEDOM!” at an extremely inopportune and bizarre time at least once in the past, causing onlookers to stare with bemusement, you should know that. Multiple marriage licenses are still very much illegal in Utah.

His full argument is that government should get out of the marriage business, because it is now meaningless:

If two men can marry, and three men can marry, and five women and a man can marry, and three men and two women can marry, then marriage has no meaning.

But three men can’t marry, and five women and a man can’t marry, and three men and two women can marry. If that’s what Keith got out of that Utah ruling, he needs to read an article not published by his employer’s website once in a while.

Indeed, as Wonkette pointed out, the Utah ruling specifically explained that polygamy is still very much illegal, that the law would continue

prohibiting bigamy in the literal sense — the fraudulent or otherwise impermissible possession of two purportedly valid marriage licenses for the purpose of entering into more than one purportedly legal marriage.”

But as Wonkette also points out, little things like facts and common sense have never prevented Mr. Ablow from having temper tantrums. Remember that time he caterwauled about the head of J. Crew allowing her son to wear a bit of nail polish on his toenails? Or when he was wailing about how Chaz Bono’s presence on Dancing With The Stars would turn kids transgender?

Right. Surely Ablow has shown himself to be a paragon of stability and sound medical advice. We ought to listen carefully to what he says and, as with so many wingnut “thinkers,” automatically assume that the opposite is true.


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