pornopeteReacting to the fact that Hallmark released an ornament that says “Don we now our fun apparel” as opposed to “Don we now our homosexual perversion apparel,” Porno Pete releases an extended whine about “homosexual activists” stealing all kinds of things:

“Who could blame Hallmark for changing the Christmas carol from ‘Don we now our gay apparel’ to ‘Don we now our fun apparel’ because homosexual activists stole the word ‘gay,'” he wonders. “It used to mean ‘happy’ and ‘joyful’ – and now it means, basically, identifying a sexual perversion: homosexuality. So I don’t blame Hallmark for making this change.”

The traditional values advocate points out most people would not wear a shirt with the word ‘gay’ on it, so it makes sense not to put it on an ornament.

Actually, Hallmark has said (according to the same article from which I am quoting) that in hindsight, they wouldn’t have changed it, presumably because, in the real world, nobody cares. And if it’s news to you that we “stole” the word gay, join the club. I wasn’t aware that fundamentalist Christians owned the English language, and considering the average reading/writing level demonstrated by commenters at wingnut blogs, I remain unconvinced that they have anything but a passing relationship with it.

“Homosexual activists stole that word just like they stole the rainbow,” he observes.

What will we steal next?! I vote for trees.

“Now, I don’t believe we should let these words go, but it looks like ‘gay’ is too far gone. We’re not going to let the rainbow be used solely as a homosexual symbol, so we’re going to fight that. But the fact is, homosexual activists are constantly stealing good things and adapting them to suit their sexual perversion.”

The rainbow is universally known as a symbol of the LGBT rights movement, Porno Pete. That bird has flown. Should we steal the concept of “birds” next?

LaBarbera says the latest thievery on the part of homosexual activists is the word “equality,” especially in terms of marriage. He adds: “We shouldn’t cede to the gay activists.”

But yet over half the population supports marriage equality, and that number grows every day. Nobody is ceding anything. The majority is with us! As the culture evolves, so does language. Where “gay” once had a singular definition, it now has a couple. “Equality” has always referred to the same general concept, but the concept has expanded to include LGBT rights.

And so on.