Please give me attention!

Please give me attention!

Since I hail from Memphis, this caught my eye. I suppose Shirley and the gang have never been to Graceland, have a few days free on the calendar, and want to mug for the cameras while they’re in town:

God hates your Idols, so Westboro Baptist Church will picket one of the many major idols of Doomed USA, to wit: Graceland. Former home of Elvis Presley. ALL the evidence suggests that his present home is HELL.

Ask the Question: How did Elvis die? The Internet gives this: Elvis died on August 16, 1977 in the bathroom at Graceland. After being found on the bathroom floor, Elvis was rushed to the hospital where he was officially pronounced dead.

The coroner recorded the cause of death as cardiac arrhythmia. While true in the strictest sense (cardiac arrhythmia means that the heart was beating irregularly), the attending physicians deliberately omitted the fact that what had apparently caused Elvis’ heart to beat irregularly and then stop was an overdose of prescription drugs. These drugs included codeine, Valium, morphine, and Demerol, to name a few.

Some people believe that Elvis Presley is still alive. It is an interesting idea to explore. (WHAT?! You people need something to do with your time!!)

Assuming you do believe that Elvis died, you can visit his grave at Graceland. (YES, gotta worship the rotting carcass of that lecherous, adulterous, pervert and drug addict!) I did NOT ask the Question: What happened in the Jungle Room! My stomach is only so strong.

Uh, okay. I have already told Memphis to pay no attention. Let them hold their signs and then go on the tour just like everybody else.

[h/t The Memphis Flyer]