biblical marriageWe are glad to report that Tennessee’s do-nothing wingnut legislature took the time to pass a meaningless resolution declaring August 31 a day to celebrate “terdishnul murrge” in the Volunteer state:

NASHVILLE, TN (WSMV) – The Tennessee state constitution defines marriage as being between a man and a woman, so state lawmakers have designated a day each year to celebrate that.

Legislators have decided to designate one day each year to celebrate what they consider “traditional marriage,” so Aug. 31 is now known as “ido4life Traditional Marriage Day” in Tennessee.

Tennessee’s legislature apparently is conducted entirely on Twitter these days. You forgot the hashtag, you rubes.

While the day is still months away,

And we still have so many decorations to make!

it already has plenty of people talking, and at least one group says it plans to ignore the resolution and call that day something else.

Pastor Lyndon Allen takes a special interest in marriage, as he mentors newlyweds and married couples at Woodmont Bible Church.

“Without marriage, the place just falls apart,” Allen said.

That is why Allen said he’s worked all legislative session to get lawmakers to pass the resolution declaring Traditional Marriage Day. The idea, he said, is to get single men and women to take the next step.

He has been working all legislative session to get this done. Man needs a hobby of some sort.

But not everyone thinks the state resolution sends the right message.

Chris Sanders, with the Tennessee Equality Project, has been watching the resolution all year, and when it passed, Sanders and his organization printed out a statement of their own, proclaiming Aug. 31 as “Tennessee Marriage Equality Day” instead.

“We’re not opposed to traditional marriages, but we believe traditional marriage should be for everyone,” Sanders said.

Agreed. Allen, for his part, finds it commendable that gays and lesbians want to get married so badly, but still wants to exclude us from the institution.

So, straight couples of Tennessee, what are you planning to do to celebrate Traditional Marriage Day? I think that it would be a good opportunity for Tennessee’s straight fundamentalist wingnuts to get their marriages a little bit more in line with Biblical marriage, by adding concubines and stuff. I mean, y’all want to be Bible-based, right? Here, Betty Bowers will help you:

Also, if you would like to play with Lyndon Allen on Twitter, don’t tell anybody I gave it to you, but he’s right here.