akAlan Keyes has always been unhinged, but is this the direction of anti-gay activism? Just say something completely meaningless and weird and hope that it makes sense to some moron out there? Earlier we learned that gay sex is perverted like ball-point pens when they’re not being used to write (???), and now Alan Keyes has floated his new booger-eating theory of gay marriage:

Keyes said while abortion, same-sex marriage and separation of church and state are not basic human rights there are leaders who are trying to “fabricate” rights.

“People who sit on the U.S. Supreme Court take it among themselves to argue that somehow there should be separation of church and state,” he said. “Nothing in the Constitution requires separation, nor could it because we cannot separate the country from its finding premise without destroying it.”

When arguing what a fundamental right actually is, Keyes gave an offbeat example of a young child who had a habit of “picking in their nostrils and “eating what came out.”

As the child grew up they noticed others were disgusted and did not want to be near him. As an adult the individual argued if others have the right to eat what they want, the individual should be recognized as having the same right.

Um. Considering the state of his career, I feel like the booger-eating analogy is much better for Being Alan Keyes than it is for marriage equality.

[h/t David Badash]