Minnesota Viking Chris Kluwe — the witty and outspoken straight ally who raked an anti-LGBT Maryland politician over the coals this summer and recently dressed down anti-gay Twin Cities Catholic archbishop John Nienstedt — isn’t just burning up the airwaves and the Internets in his efforts to help beat back a marriage discrimination amendment in Minnesota.

No, he’s also raising money for Minnesotans for Equality, an organization working to stop the amendment. And he’s doing it in a novel way: by slapping one of his most memorable phrases on T-shirts, selling them, and donating the proceeds. The phrase in question is “Lustful Cockmonster,” which you may remember him using as he described to Maryland delegate Emmett C. Burns Jr. everything that marriage equality would not do:

I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won’t come into your house and steal your children. They won’t magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won’t even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?

Outsports.com reports that proceeds from the shirts, which can be purchased here, will be split between Minnesotans for Equality and Kick for a Cure, a charity Kluwe works with that benefits kids with muscular dystrophy. The T-shirts also appear to be quite popular: as of Wednesday, there was already a two-week back order.


Want to support Kluwe’s activism, but aren’t exactly keen on wearing the word “cockmonster” across your chest? Never fear! Kluwe also released a PG version of his famous letter to Burns where another insult was replaced with “beautifully unique sparklepony,” and you guessed it — you can purchase a “beautifully unique sparklepony” shirt, too.