And you thought the strangest thing about the Mormon Church was Mitt Romney’s total loser of a horse, Rafalca.* Check THIS out:

A church leader in Sandy was promptly released from his calling after allegedly biting another man’s penis and sexually abusing that man’s little sister.

Prosecutors charged Efrey Guzman, 46, of Sandy, on Tuesday in 3rd District Court for aggravated sexual assault, aggravated burglary, both first-degree felonies, and sexual abuse of a child and forcible sexual abuse, both second-degree felonies.

Guzman was an LDS branch president of a Latino congregation in Sandy. A branch is smaller than a ward.

In a statement from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, spokesman Scott Trotter wrote, “The church has zero tolerance for abuse of any kind. Mr. Guzman has been released from his church duties effective immediately and faces further church discipline following the legal process.”

Uh huh, yeah, no Mormons have ever abused anybody, blah, blah, blah…

So one day in May, old Efrey went to see this girl and, seemingly out of nowhere, started groping and making out with the 13 year-old child. That’s all that happened THAT time. Apparently, there was an unrequited love situation going on because he came back several months later and just cold started biting dicks:

On Aug. 2, Guzman returned to the house, asking to see the girl again. The mother answered the door, refused to let him see her and told Guzman to leave. Guzman pushed his way into the house and attacked her, ripping her shirt and grabbing her exposed breast, court documents state. When the mother called out for help, her son came into the room.

As the son was trying to pull Guzman off his mother, Guzman attacked the son, grabbed his penis from his boxer shorts and “bit his penis, causing severe damage that required surgery,” according to charging documents.

Well, at least fundamentalist religious people provide plotlines for Law & Order and stuff. Beyond that, well…there is just so much rape in that story, and, all incredulous jokes aside, haha, it’s not really funny, and that guy is really screwed up. Strange, though, that you don’t tend to hear about happy liberal people doing crap like this.

[h/t The General]

*I have heard unverified reports that Rafalca doesn’t wear Mormon temple garments. This disturbs me so much, because if she did, it would be even easier to make jokes.