Looking for a pick-me-up on this Monday morning? I know I was, so I was glad to stumble on this video from openly gay CNN and ESPN sportswriter LZ Granderson. The video, released yesterday, is a TED Talk Granderson gave last month in Grand Rapids, Michigan. He uses themes from his famous CNN column about the so-called “gay lifestyle” as a jumping-off point before revealing — lightsaber in hand and Darth Vader’s theme music playing in the background — the Secret Gay Agenda. Check it out:

Spoiler Alert: If you don’t have time to watch the whole video but still would like to know the contents of the Secret Gay Agenda, Granderson gives a neat little summary in his latest CNN column. I’ll close with an excerpt:

I wonder if black people would be still in the fields picking cotton today if the 13th Amendment — the one abolishing slavery — was placed on the ballot back in 1865.

I wonder if Hillary Clinton would be at home baking cookies instead of serving as secretary of state if women’s suffrage was put to a vote back in 1919.

In other words, I wonder just how far along we would be as a society if the oppressive majority held all of the legislative and judicial power over the oppressed minority, essentially yanking the teeth out of Congress and the Supreme Court.

I’m sure you’ve heard a lot about the gay agenda, but may not know what’s in it. Here’s what you do: Download a copy of the United States Constitution, read it. Everything the LGBT community wants is in there.

Sounds like an oversimplification?

It’s not.