Something that’s very strange about the Religious Right, hate groups in particular, is how, even when they’re not lying, they report everything just breathlessly, as if they’ve uncovered some secret conspiracy. I understand that when you live in wingnut-world, where the only problems you’re really concerned about are those that your leaders made up to deflect your attention from reality, conspiratorial thinking is de rigueur, but the beginning of this press release from the Illinois Family Institute is kind of remarkable. It goes off the rails about halfway though, but it starts with the breathless revealing of “secrets” that never were secrets:

Contact: Laurie Higgins, 847-948-7889, David E. Smith, 773-858-6602; both with Illinois Family Institute

CAROL STREAM, Ill., May 30, 2012 /Christian Newswire/ — Today, May 30, 2012, the homosexual activist organization Lambda Legal and the ACLU of Illinois have filed two lawsuits against the clerk of Cook County, charging that his office’s refusal to issue marriage licenses to 25 homosexual couples violates the equal protection and due process clauses of the Illinois Constitution.

The fact that Illinois’ civil union law grants homosexual couples all the rights, privileges, and responsibilities of marriage means next to nothing to homosexual activists. As IFI and many others warned, civil union legislation was merely a stepping stone to legalized same-sex marriage.

Yes. Separate But Equal is often a step on the way to Equal, unfortunately.

It is not the legal benefits and responsibilities that homosexual activists most ardently desire. Rather, they seek the symbolic victory that legalized same-sex marriage represents. Homosexual activists want to eradicate any formal public recognition that homosexual relationships are different from heterosexual unions.

Inasmuch as we want to be treated equally and afforded the exact same institution as everyone else, yes. Again, this is not a secret. It’s not really a “symbolic victory,” but more about having equal constitutional rights.

Here comes Laurie Higgins, falling off the tomato truck and heading directly off the deep end:

The Illinois Family Institute’s cultural analyst Laurie Higgins states that “Homosexual activists and their ideological allies will exploit any means to achieve their goal of eradicating moral disapproval of homosexuality, including censorship, propaganda, demagoguery, slander, and judicial activism.”

Quick glossary, translating the words from wingnut to English:

1. Censorship = printing their words verbatim, as often as possible, thus opening them up to wider audiences for scrutiny, mocking, contempt and ultimately, dismissal by an American public that knows better.

2. Propaganda = telling our actual stories, rather than the ones told by the Religious Right about us.

3. Demagoguery = having the temerity and gall to stand up for ourselves as equal citizens instead of pretending that people like Laurie Higgins deserve an elevated status above us in society.

4. Slander = synonym of “censorship.” Also: pointing out the simple fact that the reason kids are being bullied into depression and suicide for being gay is a direct result of what’s being taught by fundamentalist pastors, religious leaders and activists. Truth hurts.

5. Judicial activism = any court ruling wingnuts don’t like, including and especially those which are so rock solid constitutionally as to send the anti-gay wingnuts back to their caves with their tails between their legs.

The means they are now using in Illinois are those they used to legalize same-sex marriage in Iowa. Homosexual activists have announced they are bypassing the will of the people as reflected in their elected representatives. According to the Chicago Tribune’s cheerleader for the homosexuality-affirming movement, Rex Huppke, “[John] Knight, the ACLU attorney, said that he is confident same-sex marriage rights can be won through the state’s judicial system and that there is no reason to wait for lawmakers to act.”

Fun fact: the judiciary is actually an equal branch of government, and one of its chief functions is to preserve people’s Constitutional rights against the tyranny of the majority. Civics! Get some.

Finish up with a weird comment reflecting a prurient interest in the way consenting adults have sex, Laurie:

Governor Pat Quinn and Cook County Clerk David Orr have both stated publicly that they believe same-sex marriage should be legalized. While apparently believing that the criterion of numbers of partners is essential, they believe that sexual complementarity is irrelevant to marriage. Let’s hope our judges are wiser.

Good job! Until next time…