Or something along those lines, I’m not quite clear…

Kathryn Jean Lopez, the most embarrassing person on the internet:

I am a woman and I’m offended.

As per usual.

I am offended that, once again, parties in positions of power have decided to pretend that all women are cut from the same political cloth. I am alarmed that religion is increasingly seen not as a vibrant good in our democracy but as a mere sideshow for nostalgic people or citizens in need of a crutch. This White House may defend your freedom to worship inside your church, but not to practice your faith if it collides with its radical agenda.

Yes, Kathryn, some women do toe the line for the patriarchy. It’s weird and self-defeating for humanity, but such as it is…

I am offended that the Catholic Church has been attacked as being anti-woman…

They’ve never been accused of that before.

Liberal Democratic women ask, “Where are the women?” — ignoring women who have publicly opposed the coercive mandate in hearings and letters and protests of various sorts.

Yes, well, liberal women are fighting up/speaking out for ALL WOMEN, whereas conservative women are speaking up for…conservative men?

And, just for the record, there is yet another answer to their question: Women are in the pope’s prayers.

Oh, for god’s sake.

Thers, my favorite blogger, please react to that:

Well, dandy. So there you are, girls! Pope prayers!


Yeah. Thers explains more, as if it needed to be for anyone beyond a third-grade reading…

The basic fact of the matter is that we’re all more free if our employer doesn’t get to make our healthcare decisions for us. You get paid, you get insurance, it’s yours. Your employer doesn’t get to decide how you spend your paycheck, your employer doesn’t get a say in how you f*ck. It doesn’t get much closer to first principles than that, no matter what pope is praying for what.

Back to K-Lo, defending the helpless victims in our society known as “straight men”:

And I am deeply offended by what is being said about men. A few good men have stuck their necks out lately in defense of religious freedom in America, and they deserve to be thanked and defended as they counter a dedicated campaign of dishonesty, hysteria, and raw bigotry.

Reasonable women cannot remain silent as the secretary of state of the United States pretends that America under a President Santorum or Romney would be an oppressive society for women. Or as a New York Times columnist echoes her, insisting that good men protecting conscience rights are “cavemen,” and that “Republican men” are trying to “wrestle American women back into chastity belts” in an “insane bout of mass misogyny.” Or as Terry O’Neill, president of the National Organization for Women, calls the U.S. Catholic bishops “violently anti-woman.”

This is miserable, insulting, desperate stuff. It’s just not right, and women of reason cannot let it stand.

And we won’t. Standing alongside men like Timothy Cardinal Dolan of New York and Bishop William Lori of Connecticut is a cavalry of women…

Oh wait, she’s not defending men at all. She’s defending a few purportedly chaste Catholic leaders who seem to have it out for women all in defense of “church doctrine.” But wait, are these men not in Pope Prayers as well?

…a new sisterhood that challenges the feminist establishment, which has always appeared preoccupied with abortion, most recently in advocating for this HHS mandate that will force monks and nuns to purchase insurance plans that include abortion-inducing drugs.

Monks and nuns! Being forced to induce abortions, except not!


Anyway, I have a doctor’s appointment, so let me just sum up the rest of K-Lo’s blather: this is not a war on women, it’s not a war on men, this is a war FOR OUR VERY FREEDOM, which of course means that we should let the Catholic church dictate women’s reproductive healthcare decisions, because the freedom to force your religious beliefs on an unwitting society is the most important freedom, etc., because Roman Catholic bishops are the most oppressed people in the world, and so on.