Oh, Laurens County, South Carolina, I don’t even know where you are and I don’t want to look it up, but you’re embarrassing yourself just the same. Purity tests for GOP candidates!

Before you can join the Laurens County Republican Party in South Carolina and get on the primary ballot, they ask that you pledge that you’ve never ever had pre-marital sex — and that you will never ever look at porn again.

Last Tuesday, the LCGOP unanimously adopted a resolution that would ask all candidates who want to get on the primary ballot to sign a pledge with 28 principles, because the party “does not want to associate with candidates who do not act and speak in a manner that is consistent with the SC Republican Party Platform.”

And here’s part of that specific platform:

You must favor, and live up to, abstinence before marriage.

You must be faithful to your spouse. Your spouse cannot be a person of the same gender, and you are not allowed to favor any government action that would allow for civil unions of people of the same sex.

You cannot now, from the moment you sign this pledge, look at pornography.

We. Are. Talking. About. Republicans. Here. Never. Going. To. Happen. I mean, this is the land of Mark Sanford and a certain other politician who may or may not be secretly gay…

Also, if you’re freaked out about how they’re going to make sure their candidates live up to this stuff, don’t worry, it gives me the creeps too.