This is hilarious. Tennessee’s Stacey Campfield, author of the state’s now infamous “Don’t Say Gay” legislation, who last week explained, among other things, that AIDS is the result of a gay pilot having sex with a gay monkey, and who has an entire state’s progressives laughing and cheering after he was thrown out of a Knoxville restaurant this weekend, was interviewed by David Pakman today, and the interview is so full of goodness that I have decided to live-blog it. Let’s watch together!

0:30 Why is homosexuality harmful, Stacey? Well, he says that as long as you are having heterosexual sex with people who are not addicted to drugs or gay or “from Africa,” you should be fine. New campaign slogan for Stacey: don’t have sex with Africans!

1:40 David points out that anti-gay wingnuts are really fixated on what happens when two men have sex. [Note to Stacey: your chances of catching HIV through lesbian sex are basically nil.]

2:25 Stacey says homosexuality is harmful because the average homosexual lives nowhere near as long as the heterosexuals. David points out that Stacey got his info on that one from a widely discredited fraud named Paul Cameron.

2:45 Stacey prattles on awhile about how insurance is more expensive for gays, due to gay, before getting to his main point, which is that

3:40 Animals who are gay are not actually gay, because they don’t have buttsex. Stacey has never seen two animals having anal sex, therefore it does not exist. One wonders how much time Stacey Campfield has spent, with binoculars, trying to catch members of the animal kingdom having anal sex, and then one shudders.

4:40 David: “So when animals have gay sex, it’s more of an S&M thing?” Stacey: “Oh, I don’t know why they’re having gay sex, because I’m not an animal mind reader. Stacey: “If you get online you can learn all about animal S&M.” [Paraphrased quotes.]

5:20 Stacey says anti-gay bullying is no big deal because we already have bullying laws. I guess the kids who kill themselves are just collateral damage. Stacey brags that Tennessee’s schools are 46th in the nation. Take that, four other Southern states!

6:45 We don’t need to talk about heterosexuality in school either! It’s not just gayness that we need to remain mum about. All sex bad!

8:00 Do people choose to be gay? Stacey: “well, the activity is a choice.” We all use Activity Period differently, I guess…

8:25 Hahaha, Stacey, you got kicked out of a restaurant in your hometown for being such an unrepentant, misinformed, hateful bigot. Do you feel like you were unfairly discriminated against? Does this make you sort of possibly understand what discrimination is like? Stacey claims he wouldn’t go to a restaurant that refused to serve gays.

But I guess one where gays are welcome but bullied relentlessly is all good, right, Stacey?

I’d like to remind everyone, quickly, that Stacey also got kicked out of a University of Tennessee football game a while back, due to the fact that he was wearing a Mexican wrestler mask, despite the fact that it had been well-publicized that for the safety of all in the stadium, masks were not allowed for this Halloween game. But Stacey wanted to wear it, dangit! So he made the cops chase him around the stadium for a while and whined before they finally got tired of it and booted him. His maturity level doesn’t seem like it’s improved in the years hence.