james_dobson_0118Radical fundamentalist activists are meeting at a ranch outside Houston today and tomorrow hoping to line up behind a Republican presidential candidate that isn’t that dreaded Mormon guy. Currently their loyalties are divided between the peanut, the walnut, the Brazil nut, and the nut-job (Santorum). Such indecisiveness is giving Romney a decisive advantage in South Carolina.

The clandestine meeting has been endorsed by Focus on the Family co-founder James Dobson, the Southern Baptist Convention’s Richard Land and will likely be attended by American Values’ Gary Bauer, the Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins, the American Family Association’s Donald Wildmon, and Skyline Church’s Rev. Jim Garlow.

If the extremists can’t decide on one nut to rally behind, they will discuss how to extort promises and blackmail Mitt Romney at the expense of America. According to the New York Times:

The evangelical leaders say they will also prepare for the strong possibility that Mr. Romney wins the nomination. In Texas, they expect to discuss what promises — in the party platform, in the choice of a vice-presidential candidate and in judicial appointments — they should seek from Mr. Romney in return for their enthusiastic support.

It seems this collection of crazies is overreaching and inadvertently aiming to make Romney unelectable. Their message to Romney: “If you are not really one of us, pretend that you are and succumb to our demands or we will whine and stay home on Election Day.”

Of course, expect Romney to bow at their feet. It seems that the shape-shifting, oleaginous Romney will say or do practically anything to win the support of these dangerous zealots.