hahahahahaha, dorksThis doesn’t have much to do with gays or gay rights, but it’s Sunday night [as I’m writing this] and I don’t care, because I’m too busy making fun of it:

If you’re a conservative or tea partier or libertarian or war veteran who lies awake at night wondering why there’s no band out there that really understands you, The Daily Caller has you covered.

Meet Madison Rising.

Must I? “If you’re a teabagger who lies awake at night wondering why very little of any artistic value has been contributed by conservatives over the course of human history, here, I have something mediocre to distract you for a while.”

Named for Founding Father James Madison, they’re a “libertarian … pro-American … pro-constitution” rock band. Where other bands sing about ex-girlfriends and drunken nights, Madison Rising sings about Occupy Wall Street, the Second Amendment and liberal media bias.

Yeah! Guns and hating protesters who thwart the corporatocracy and guns and stuff and, oh yeah, people make fun of Gretchen Carlson a lot!


As a songwriter, I am thrilled to hear more.

“There are a lot of country acts that are out there that’ll say they’re all about the USA, and then in the next song they’re talking about bar fights and drinking beer in a bar,” explained Bray in an interview with The Daily Caller. “We’re not against those things, but our album and our message is very strictly” on topic, he said.

“We’re not gifted enough songwriters to compose music on a variety of topics, and so instead simply choose to write crappy pablum for teabaggers for whom country songs about lost love are too gay.”

He wants kids, whose initial instincts might be to go out and do something unproductive “to hear his music and say, “I’m going to go and I’m going to do something a little bit more positive with my life. I’m not going stand around with a sign … I’m going to start a business.”

And if Wall Street runs their small businesses into the ground, they still won’t hold signs! Slurp, slurp.

Okay, enough making fun of the band [for a minute], let’s make fun of a few commenters at Tucker Faye Carlson’s Daily Choler:

Don’t forget Ted Nugent.

The ultimate in conservative cool. So cool that millions of wingnuts have his picture on the wall in their house. Wait, that’s not a picture of Ted Nugent? I’m so confused.

Quoting this one in its entirety, because it comes from someone with the highly intellectual name of “BUSTER BAWLZ,” and is so, so funny:

Many would be surprised to know that Aerosmith are long time conservatives. They just don’t yak about it in public. Most of their fans are kool-aid drinking morons who truly ‘just wouldn’t understand’. Each of them has a gun collection that is astounding. At least two of them, ( the Toxic Twins, Steve and Joe ) have their Class 3 (?) machine gun licenses. They also collect High End Switchblade Knives. ( VERY High End ).

Ditto for the Stones. Peel back the layers on the Glimmer Twins and you will find a couple of guys who have raised some of the most ‘straight arrow’ kids you’ll ever see. Jagger’s youngest, a son, (sorry, can’t remember his name) would absolutely shock you to learn who his dad is. A handsome young man with a prep school background that is the antithesis of the rock star kid. Mick has been a very shrewd investor in stocks and bonds since the ’70’s.

I think that in the very near future, many, many rock stars and Hollywood types are going to come out of the conservative closet. The Left Wing in America is finished. We have seen where their ideas have led. Conservatism is ascendant.

Oh, Buster, you just keep waitin’! Do some wheelies in your Hoveround if you get bored while you’re waitin’!

I almost forgot to say, that Ted Nugent is EXACTLY what I want to see in my rock stars. 100%+ on gun rights, hates liberal socialist politicians, supports the troops, has a moral message against homosexuals, and isn’t afraid of the mainstream establishment when he goes out and stumps for Conservative candidates for office.

All the best rock stars hate fags.

Anyway, here are these nerds on Fox & Friends:

And here is the band showing you that yes, inexplicably, it is somehow possible to suck more than Nickelback.

What’s really sad about that song above is that it attempts [poorly] to tell a story about military families dealing with separation and loss, but the thing is that that’s not an experience limited to wingnut families. Indeed, it’s something that crosses all ideological boundaries, so considering the band’s beliefs that they’re telling a “conservative” story, it’s actually sort of offensive to this liberal writer who watched his liberal brother go off on tour after tour of duty for this country.

Also, they really, really, really suck.

Here is the band talking about how awesome they are and how “everyone” can enjoy their music.

Oh, wingnuts. When you’re not being the greatest threat to the American way of life ever seen, you sure as hell are [unintentionally] funny.

If you want to find out more about the band, click here. You can read lyrics like this jaunty chorus!

In The Days That Reagan Ruled
In The Days That Reagan Ruled
In The Days That Reagan Ruled
He was the Gipper, he had the knack
He took a bullet and he still came back
In The Days That Reagan Ruled!
In The Days That Reagan Ruled!
He was an honest man with a simple dream
A dream we should hold true

Hardcore, dudes. Hardcore.

[h/t Rumproast]