Apparently the Onion needed to weigh in on what one would think would be a no-brainer, but isn’t to some people.
Pearson fielded several questions from reporters, such as whether it is okay, when one sees a boy being raped, to wait until after lunch before contacting police, or if it is acceptable to simply inform the rapist in a firm tone that what he is doing is wrong and then leave it at that. The 10-year-old confirmed neither course of action was adequate.
Additionally, Pearson attempted to clear up any confusion as to whether an individual should contact the police even if he or she has been personally acquainted with the rapist for many years.
“We understand the delicacy of the situation when the person committing the rape is a coworker or otherwise someone you know quite well, but as 10-year-old boys with very few ways of protecting ourselves, we still have to insist that you go to the police,” Pearson said.
According to Pearson, even if one merely suspects he or she has seen a 10-year-old boy being raped, but is not absolutely certain, it is still a good idea to play it safe and allow police investigators to sort out the situation.
“Wouldn’t you be left with egg on your face if that little boy was actually being raped and you didn’t tell the police!” said Pearson, drawing a big laugh from the gathered crowd.
The nation’s 10-year-olds unanimously echoed Pearson’s sentiments, imploring people to contact police not only when they see prepubescent boys being raped, but, in fact, when they see anyone at all being raped, in any context.
[h/t Box Turtle Bulletin]
