KarenThere is a guest post up over at Porno Pete’s Americans for Truth About Homosexuality/Chicagoland’s Greatest Archive of Leather Photography, and it is from a woman — I wasn’t aware he allowed women in his lair — named Karen Norling, who is there to proclaim, for eleven people to see, on the website of an anti-gay hate group, how much she loves homosexuals. Seriously:

I Am Not Afraid of the ‘Big, Bad H’ (Homosexuality)

That’s the headline. You’re already laughing, I know.

I’d like to tell you about three of my longtime friends–David, Marcia, and Sean–as well as my “double” cousin, Michael, and one of my college professors, Prof. Hathaway.

David entered my life in 1974, shortly after he befriended my older brother, Jon. I was 10; David was 13. Even if David hadn’t become my foster brother …

Marcia entered my life, and became my dear friend, in 1978. She may have been nearly as old my mother, but that never mattered to me …

Sean entered my life in 1983, when I attended West Valley College in Saratoga. He was my assigned creative-writing tutor. Sean is one of the most compassionate, considerate men I’ve ever known …

My “double” cousin, Michael, was born six years before I was, but I can remember his side-splitting antics all the way back to first grade …

Professor Hathaway entered my life in 1990–while I was working toward my Bachelor’s at Cal. State, Stanislaus…

Okay, so we have a laundry list of people Karen has known, who are, spoiler alert, homosexuals. Most live far away from her and presumably don’t have to deal with her that often, and one is a teacher she had for one semester in college. If you want to read the rest of her descriptions of her homo friends, go to Americans For Truth Dot Com.

Why have I told you about David, Marcia, Sean, Michael and Prof. Hathaway? I’ve told you about them because they have something in common: they are homosexuals.

Gay gay gay gay gay. Replace “they are homosexuals” with “they are Negroes” and put this article on David Duke’s website and you can predict how this is going to go.

Of course, the fact that they are homosexuals would mean nothing to you–if not for the following fact: I am utterly, 100 percent opposed to homosexuality.  I not only think it’s unnatural, I think it’s morally wrong, and the thought of it repulses me.  Now, if you’re thinking that because I disavow homosexuality, I can’t possibly be friends with homosexuals, can’t love them deeply, can’t enjoy their company, can’t admire their intellect–i.e., if you think my “disavowal” renders me a “homophobe”-=think again.

So, Karen is here to explain that though she finds David, Marcia, Sean, Michael and Prof. Hathaway to be unnatural, morally wrong, and repulsive, you need to think again, because Karen does not know what the hell the word “homophobe” means. And yes, Karen, you cannot separate the people from their sexual orientation, because all grown-ups who favor reality over fundamentalist Christian dogma understand that sexual orientation is simply a human characteristic.

Any one of Karen’s supposed “gay friends” could explain this to her, if she was listening, which I assume she is not. Have her friends read this piece?

I may be at odds with homosexuality, but I am not afraid of it.  Rather, I’m afraid of losing someone close to me; of walking into a grocery store or restaurant and having my head blown off; of getting into a wreck on the freeway and ending up a paraplegic.  I’m afraid of being told I have some fatal disease that’s going to cause me a slow and painful death, and, yes, I confess, I’m afraid of bumblebees.

Got it. She’s afraid of bumblebees, and she hates gayness. But she doesn’t hate bumblebees.

Granted, when I was young and going through all the physical/emotional changes an adolescent/teenager inevitably goes through, I did fear homosexuality.  I did wonder, with deep and silent horror, if someday I’d find I was attracted to women instead of men.  Why did I “wonder with horror”?  Why did I fear?  Because, as I just said: the thought of two people of the same sex doing with each other what two people of the opposite sex (innately) do, flat-out repulsed me.

Hold UP. Straight readers, answer in the comments section, please: did you ever wonder, as a teenager, with “deep and silent horror,” if you’d accidentally wake up one day and suddenly be into members of your own gender? Was that even remotely on your radar? I don’t think normal people worry about such things, but this is a Fundamentalist thing. Satan’s around every corner, tempting you into turning into a tofu-eating lesbian who practices witchcraft on Sunday mornings, and you’re powerless to stop it. Also, why was/is she so focused on what gay people do in the bedroom? Not normal.

The thing is, however, my sense of fear quickly dissipated–unlike my sense of repulsion–amid my growing desire to forge an intimate relationship with someone outside my gender.  (Please note: this fear I speak of never caused me to withdraw or shy away from David, Marcia, Sean, Michael or Ms. Hathoway.)

Then she started noticing dudes and it was like “Whew! You guys, the debbil almost got me there! Close call!”

Today I am extremely happy, totally satisfied with the man I married nearly 20 years ago.

Fantastic. Guess what normal people are not doing, upon learning of Karen’s marriage? Thinking about what they do in the bedroom. Now you are, though, because I mentioned it.


I mention I’m happy and satisfied because it’s apparent that those of you who make liberal use of the terms “homophobia,” “homophobic,” “homophobe” are trying to imply not only that we who oppose homosexuality are mean, hateful, unenlightened, narrow-minded clods–but also that we’re denying ourselves infinite pleasure and fulfillment–all because we choose to have sex solely with members of the opposite sex.

Um, no, that’s not it at all, and never has been. In fact, in my years of covering wingnuts, I have never read one who thought we were suggesting that straight people can’t experience the fullness of sex, on account of their heterosexuality. It’s more like, “If you think we’re not experiencing the fullness of sex, pleasure and fulfillment because we, due to being gay, have gay sex, you are a moron. Also, equal rights, please, as sexual orientation simply what it is, etc., etc., yadda yadda.”

She’s right about the narrow-minded clod part, though.

By frequently employing such terms, you merely sabotage your efforts to make certain homosexuality is ultimately sanctioned by those of us who would strike it from existence if we could.  Hence, I kindly, yet candidly, say: if you truly want to draw us closer to you, instead of pushing us further and further away–relinquish your cocky, condescending attitudes; dismount your “gay-pride” pedestals, and pluck from your verbal “repertoire” every “homophobic” cliche. Love us whether or not we condone your lifestyle choices, whether or not we share your sexual point of view.

Okay, so Karen would “strike” homosexuals “from existence” if she could. [Refer to above — wingnuts cling to the ignorance of separating the person and the sexual orientation, but adults do not.] Have her so-called “gay friends” read this piece, I ask again? Basically, she is saying that if gays want to live in peace, we should just shut up and be happy as second-class citizens, allowing people like Karen to continue on in their blissfully ignorant states, enjoying a status in society that they did not earn, and would lose quickly if class and rights were handed out in a meritocratic way.

Moreover, I am confused as to why Karen is so convinced that we want her love. Is there something special about Karen that I don’t know? From here, all I can see is a two-bit bigot who loves gays so much that she’s willing to have her words posted on the blog of America’s most pathetic and unintentionally hilarious hate group leader/fetish photographer. Also, there is no reason for the word repertoire to be in quotes above. It’s not a euphemism, dear, it’s simply French.

Homosexuality has never stood between me, David, Marcia, Sean, Michael or Prof Hathoway.  Why should it stand between me and you?

Truly, Karen, if homosexuality is what’s keeping you and me apart, that’s a door I’m glad to keep shut.

And one more time: have her so-called friends read this bigoted tripe?