Oh, the things that, to quote my friend Wendi Thomas, get wingnuts’ “delicates in a wad.”* I’m looking through my news sources and whatnot, and I have a found a DADT dead-ender writing a letter to the local paper, and man oh man, is she worried about the gays in the military! Look:

The military’s job is to be ready to defend this country whenever necessary, not to pander to people’s personal whims, especially one regarding sexual deviancy. This requires personnel to be in excellent psychological and physical shape.

And gays simply cannot do that! We do not have access to counseling or other mental health care, and we certainly never go to the gym to keep our bodies in fine form. Next:

It is a well-documented fact that homosexuals suffer from greater rates of depression, drug abuse and physical diseases than the general population.

It’s also a well-documented fact that where those statistics are greater, the root cause is discrimination from people like youuuuuuuuuu.

Can we expect them to perform at their best under the stressful environment of life in the military?

They can, and we know it, because gays have been fighting for the wingnut’s right to write whiny letters into the local paper for DECADES. She just didn’t know it.

The American Psychological Society did no favors to homosexuals when it removed homosexuality as a psychological disorder because now they can’t get the proper help and counseling they need to lead healthy, fulfilled lives.

Yes, it is terrible that we are no longer allowed to get counseling in order to lead healthy, fulfilled lives. Oh, wait, in the wingnut’s head-in-the-sand world, there is no such thing as a gay who is also living a healthy, fulfilled life. I understand.

We can expect to see promiscuity increase in the military, as homosexuals have many more partners than heterosexuals.

Yes, because straight soldiers are never slutty.

What about clergy and their religious freedom? Will they be forced to perform civil unions for homosexual soldiers? How can they counsel freely?

Wingnut definition of “freely”: Will they be free to unleash unnecessary, medieval hatred upon gay and lesbian servicemembers?

What about living quarters? Will the military and our tax dollars now have to pay for homosexual “bathhouses?”

Because all civilian homosexuals live in bathhouses.

If you think this can’t happen, then you are very naïve.

That’s why we are very thankful that Random Wingnut Lady wrote a letter to the paper. Otherwise, I don’t even think the worst, dumbest professional gay-hater has ever suggested that the military will have to fund bathhouses. Because, hi, it makes no sense.

There’s a reason that homosexuality has been anathema in human history for thousands of years. It is an unnatural manifestation of the human condition and is an aberration in society that requires help for those afflicted with it, not validation of their disorder.

Such big words for such a small mind!

The far-reaching ramifications of this decision are too numerous to list in a short letter.

Therefore she won’t! Time to go learn more about bathhouses and stuff, I guess.

“Delicates in a wad,” indeed.

*Great article, by the way, about straight people attending gay pride in Memphis. Read it!