I had forgotten that Newt Gingrich is sort of kind of pretending to run for president [read: make $$$], but apparently he’s trying to get on the anti-gay bandwagon, because that’s all the rage with dorks right now.  You see, our financial problems in America are caused by gays, because, well, you see:

“The concept of family being between man and woman and the concept of all these core values that grow out of 3,000 years of Judeo-Christian tradition,” Gingrich answered. “This is a direct threat to the entire secular world.”

“We’re becoming increasingly secular, the family is under attack and economically we’re experiencing woes like we’ve never known in our history it seems. So what is the connection here?” Limandri asked.

“You have to recognize that free enterprise is based on free people and … free people are based on faith,” Gingrich replied.

“The very basis of our belief and freedom is that we believe we are endowed by our creator with certain unalienable rights. The very source of our strength is that we believe these are truths – not theories, not ideologies, not gimmicks, not political consultants, powerpoints – truths, and so there’s a core absolute overlap between free enterprise, freedom and freedom of faith. And if you don’t have freedom of faith in the end you’re not going to have free enterprise because there’s no moral force that defends and protects you.”

Okay, to sum up: there were no family with men and women before 3,000 years ago. Likewise, there would be no families with men and women without “Judeo-Christian” tradition. The fact that Japan and other non-Christian nations have lots of, you know, married couples, is irrelevant, because they wouldn’t have that if something special hadn’t happened 3,000 years ago. I frankly don’t know what happened 3,000 years ago in “Judeo-Christian” tradition that started this ball rolling, but it musta been awesome.

So what is the connection here? Well, you see, big bidness is based on big people with a revolving door of increasingly frightening looking wives, and…

No, we’ve gotten off track.

Free people are based on faith, because there have never been any democracies in the history of the world, save those which were started by Jesus, and so…

QED, if you’re a mindless wingnut. The rest of the normal population is now free to slam its collective head against the desk and wonder at the fact that this failed politician is still around, talking.