Watching Rick Santorum try to do things, not any specific things in particular, just things, is like watching a particularly pathetic trainwreck.  He’s not like Michele Bachmann — she’s bat crazy, but she’s smart.  No, he’s about one step below Palin on the official Ladder of Stupid.  This is why his campaign will sadly peter out like everything he does, and he’ll be left standing with the butthurt gaze of a child who always gets picked last for solo sports.

Recently, Santorum decided to explain how gay marriage isn’t as good as straight marriage by standing in a grocery store and telling everybody that napkins aren’t paper towels, no matter how much you try to use them as paper towels.  You get it?  Napkins are QUEERS, you guys.  And paper towels are BRAWNY, which means they’re heterosexual, because the dude on that package doesn’t look gay at all.

Of course, it’s a stupid analogy because sometimes people use paper towels as napkins, especially at picnics, which would mean a lot of “straight men” would look pretty gay when they’re at public parks…

Oh wait.  Never mind, the analogy is great.

Anyway, here’s Lawrence O’Donnell making fun of dumb dumb.

My only beef with Lawrence’s analysis is that he ties the stupid napkins vs. paper towels analogy into the larger phenomenon of politicians trying to be jus’ folks and failing miserably because so many politicians are indeed far removed from the “common man” and really don’t know what the hell they’re talking about when it comes to common household items.  That analogy would apply for a lot of politicians, yes, but not Rick Santorum.

He’s just stupid.

[h/t Towleroad]