The Associated Press officially reported today that intolerant Christians are being bullied by tolerance.
It is now official: The word “bullying” no longer refers to violence or defamation. “Bullying” now means “resistance to supremacy of one religious viewpoint over all others.” That “resistance,” apparently, is a bad thing. This realization has been humbling. We have been chastened.
The AP makes a compelling case for the redefinition. The article offers examples of homosexuals, Jewish and Buddhist and atheist sympathizers, and other hooligans:
- interfering with conservative Christian efforts to redefine civil marriage and impose that definition upon athletes
- subverting a federal ban on marriages of nontraditional Christians and other faiths that do not discriminate on the basis of genitalia
- making “death threats” consisting of letters in which said hooligans whine that the conservative Christian redefinition of civil marriage fuels youth suicide and antigay murder
- holding ex-gay Christians unfairly accountable for godly deceptions in an iPhone app.
So…. “Bullying” has a new meaning. And since Truth Wins Out opposes “bullying,” our mission must change with the times. The criticism victimization of intolerant Christians by minorities must stop.
So I now inaugurate the Victimwatch feature, which gives voice to the Christians who have been criticized silenced for defaming the innocent and denying freedom to minorities for staring down the agents of Satan.
Victimwatch shall act as a watchdog on behalf of Christian Rightists who are “silenced” and “bullied.” In just the past week, our human-rights monitors uncovered the following threats to Christian Rightists:
- A National Organization for Marriage rally speaker declared that gays and lesbians are “worthy to death” and explained that all homosexuals are selfish people who practice a deathstyle. Homosexuals, we now realize, are selfish because they are willing to allow religious minorities to define marriage as they wish; conservative Christians are unselfish for reserving civil marriage and its privileges for themselves.
- Overriding the will of a Boston congregation, Roman Catholic hierarchs canceled a worship service that was marketed as “welcome to all,” including sexual minorities.
- Conservative Christian mobs threw stones, bottles, and firecrackers at pro-tolerance marchers in Croatia, injuring several.
- Illinois Catholic Charities sued the state to collect millions of taxpayer dollars for the purpose of denying adoption services to taxpayers on the basis of its own sectarian religious ideology.
NOM, the Roman Catholic bureaucrats, and the Croatian mobs are victims.
They are victims of critics who present worldly facts instead of values. If the homosexuals and the gushy kumbaya “God is love” heretics had any values, they would stop presenting facts rooted in this corrupt and fallen world. And they wouldn’t make Christian Rightists say or do stupid things, and then force the rightists to silence themselves out of embarrassment and shame.
Under the now-canceled definition of “bullying,” Truth Wins Out was the cause of much frustration for silenced Christian Rightists, who have had to put up with news reports of whiny youths being beaten in school or raped to make them straight. We, the kumbaya crowd of dissident liberal congregations and atheists, shamelessly protested the violence. Meanwhile, the true megachurches — the ones that represent God’s Chosen Americans — were shamed into silence, unwilling to proudly profess a virtuous commitment to God’s violent righteousness, on the one hand, or be seen sympathizing with heretics like us on the other hand.
The new official definition of “bullying” resolves this conflict, once and for all.
We don’t know yet whether this development will usher in a New World Order of Christian Right peace, so we look to Jesus for the answer. Jesus offers prophetic Biblical words of absolute truth to the Christian Right, in the Beatitudes:
Blessed are the peace… no, wait,
Blessed are the meek… stop, that’s not right,
Blessed are the merci—
Dadgummit!!
Liberals have sabotaged my Bible again: More proof of my victimhood.
