cindy jacobsFirst it was the satirical video thanking God for the Japanese earthquake.  Then this morning it was wingnut El Paso city council candidate Malcolm McGregor, III, claiming that the disaster was a curse from god.  Well, that satirical video was eerily prescient, it seems, because now, the craziest eyes of all, Cindy Jacobs, has weighed in.  Strap yourself into your seats, because you’re about to get hit with a load of flying bat guano:

The Shaking has Begun and the Winds are Blowing!

As one looks across the face of the earth today, it doesn’t take a large amount of spiritual discernment to see that things are shaking as has been prophesied over the past few years. Many voices, including myself, have spoke over what is known as the “Rim of Fire” nations or the Pacific Rim. These are approximately forty-some nations that ring the Pacific with some sort of volcanic activity.

The tragedy in Japan brings this prophetic shaking starkly to the forefront of the news. Many are asking the question, “What is taking place?”

First of all, I know that we must stand in the gap and pray for Japan. The enormity of the loss and the intensity of what has transpired will continue to unfold and it is hard to grasp with the natural mind.

Oh, isn’t it nice that Cindy took a minute to acknowledge that actual people died/had their lives ruined. But don’t worry, she’s not going to get worked up over that.

Others might ask? Was this a judgment from God? This is a difficult question. I tend to think that God is grieved that so many have died because, no doubt, many of them did not know Him as the Savior. He is not willing that any should perish without knowing Him.

And apparently Cindy Jacobs’ god is kind of weak.

I have personally felt that one of the reasons Japan was such a hard group for the gospel was the fact that they have had a direct link with the Imperial family and a direct link with the sun goddess, Amaterasu.

After the end of the second world war, under the U.S. agreements with Japan, this connection with Amaterasu was renounced. It is hard for those in the western world to understand the connection idolatry had with the suicide bombers in WWll as try dedicated their lives to the Emperor and this principality. After the nation no longer had this idolatrous connection, Japan flourished economically.

However, of recent years, this link with Amaterasu and sun worship was reinstated in a ceremony in which the new Emperor once again participated and “spent the night with the goddess” after eating the sacred rice.

Oh god, the sacred rice. Well, that explains earthquakes, no need for plate tectonics.

In the early nineties, the Lord gave me a prophecy for Japan that it was a “sickle in the hand of the Lord” that will be used for great harvest. The physical geography of the islands look like a curved sickle with the handle being the island of Hokkaido in the north. One could also say that it looks like a curved sword. Where Japan has historically been a sword of war across Asia. I see God raising up young revivalists from the nation who will impact Asia and the world for the gospel.

What did the lord tell you about Indonesia, Cindy? And Dubuque? What about Six Flags?  What about Ke$ha?

My interpretation of this is that while God did not want people to perish, He is going to use this to “pierce” the darkness surrounding the Japanese people if we will cry out to God for them in the midst of this crisis.

God couldn’t CAUSE the earthquake, and he didn’t WANT people to die, it was just that he caused the earthquake and made people die so that Cindy and her frothing minions could “pierce” the darkness of Japan, which needs their help, really, so badly.

Again, these people are really sick.

Kyle at Right Wing Watch points out that Cindy Jacobs’ bestie Chuck Pierce also said some grotesque things about the tragedy in Japan yesterday, so I’d say Christian Fundamentalism has reached its three strikes on the event and should just shut up now.