stormspressSouthern Decadence-protesting, bullhorn wielding, gay-condemning, public-park pocket pool-playing Pastor Grant Storms has held a press conference to say he is very sorry for hoisting his own personal picket in a van next to a playground:

The conservative pastor known for his condemnation of the Southern Decadence Festival was tearful and apologetic Tuesday in discussing his recent arrest.

The Rev. Grant Storms called himself a “hypocrite” because of his Friday arrest on accusations of masturbating in a public park. Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s deputies charged him with obscenity after two women claimed they saw him touching himself while watching children on the playground at Lafreniere Park.

Storms said in a news conference Tuesday that he was not watching the children, but he did have his hand in his pants. He apologized to those he has hurt, and he said he was sorry for targeting Decadence, an annual gay festival in the French Quarter.

Fat chance.

Also, he says he has a “porn problem,” and that he was looking at it right before he went to the park to spank it in front of kids:

He did, however, admit that he was looking at pornography on-line about an hour before he went to the park. He added that he struggles with an addiction to porn, and he asked pastors to help deal with his demons.

Storms told members of the media he is no longer connected with the church that once staged the protests against Southern Decadence, now running a lawn care business.

Weeping, he then went on to apologize to family and friends. He even apologized to those that he once railed against, including members of the gay community and organizers of Decadence Festival.

How nice of him.

[h/t Towleroad; photo:  Gina Swanson – WDSU]