Note: Originally I called this video “Hilarious MONDAY Video,” so you can all feel free to make fun of me for not knowing what day it is.

We didn’t really talk about the fact that my favorite right-wing nutjob, Lou Engle, had one of his “TheCall” rallies in Sacramento this weekend. Kyle at Right Wing Watch said it was mostly boring and sparsely attended. So, now you’re caught up! There was a TheCall rally in Sacramento, it was boring, and featured low attendance.

But there was one funny part when right-wing stand-up comic/crazy-lady-in-chief Cindy Jacobs got up and just prayed and repented her little heart out, for forgiveness from all the lesbianism and “girl-on-girl kissing.”

Kyle provides the video and the amazing transcript:

I want to talk as a mother to the young women today. We know that it’s not just the men who have a problem with pornography and I want to say it like this: girl-on-girl kissing, lesbianism is a plague on our society today.

And I want to read the word of God and I want us to pray. Roman 1: 25 says those who exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator blessed forevermore, for this reason God game them up to vile passions where even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature.

I’m going to call on the women and I want to say that it’s time for us to repent.

This girl-on-girl kissing, Madonna kissing Britney Spears, and what happened to Britney after that and a lot of other things. I know we’re going out over worldwide television. I want to tell you, bisexuality, every kind of perverse thing, the Bible calls this sin. And I want the women of God to kneel down right now and we are going to put a stop to this in our generation and we are going to say “No More!”

(Jacobs begins shouting)

And I want to say to you, this gender mainstreaming that says that you don’t know if you’re a boy or a girl until you have sex with both, boy or girl, has got to stop. If we agree right now that there is a holiness movement coming, we decree in the name of Jesus that men and women are going to be their natural use, in the name of Jesus.

One of you young women want to repent for that, lesbianism?

You see, Britney’s problems weren’t substance abuse, irresponsibility, and immaturity. NO! It was that one time Madonna stuck her tongue in Britney’s mouth, which passed the Sapphic Demon into Britney’s innocent “Hit Me Baby One More Time” mouth, that caused the trouble.

And um, I have never heard of a person that doesn’t know if they’re a boy or a girl until they’ve had sex with both. I think this is one of Cindy Jacobs’ frequent hallucinations.

So anyway, all lesbian readers, please repent, in the comments section. Thank you.