Yesterday, we laughed and laughed at a candid video of Dr. Marcus Bachmann, husband of Michele, and the funny thing about the video didn’t even have to be stated, but simply was understood by writers and commenters alike! If the joke had a name, though, it would be “Mary.”
Well, let’s do that again, as we listen to Mr. Crazy Eyes on a radio show, telling us how to not be gay anymore, by way of Jesus/paying Mr. Crazy Eyes with money. Hell, let us live-blog it!
0:00 – 1:15: Boring
1:15: Christian counselors should not ask people how they feel! It is an abomination!
1:35: Christian counselors and friends should be calling their patients sinners!
2:00: We should be wise about from whom we receive “help.”
2:10: Sounds really gay when he references Better Homes & Gardens magazine. I guess they don’t get Dwell in rural Minnesota.
2:45: What do you say to your gay child? Dr. Bachmann suggests that adolescents will question their sexuality, and that this is normal! But this does not mean we should go down the Road of Homosexuality!
3:35: “Barbarians need to be educated, they need to be disciplined.” Great, gay kids are barbarians.
4:00: “Let’s fayth it, what’s our culture, what is our public school system doing today? They are giving FULL, WIDE OPEN doors” to encourage kids to think and do gay things.
Summing up, your gay child might be gay, but that does not mean your gay child should go down the ROAD OF HOMOSEXUALITY, and should instead stay on the Sidewalk of Straightness, which leads to the Cove of Crazy Eyes, like Marcus Bachmann did.
So that was fun!
Now, for balance, let’s hear about gays from Michele Bachmann herself, as played by Wonkette’s Sara Benincasa!
“Noooooo! Noooooo! Noooooo! Nooooo! Nooooo! Nooooo! Noooooo! NO GAYS!”
[Wonkette: Michele (and Marcus) Bachmann Will Cure Your Nasty Case of the Gays]