If you’re not familiar with Greg Gutfeld, I don’t blame you.  Most of us would rather do anything else in the known universe than watch Fox’s Red Eye at 3:oo AM on weekdays.  Gutfeld seems to think he’s the “conservative version” of The Daily Show or something, and as with most attempts at humor from that side of the aisle, it falls flat, because humor should be rooted in reality rather than white male resentment.

Gutfeld’s latest attempt at humor/journalism (posted, of course, at one of Andy Breitbart’s “Big Moron” sites) involves Muslims, the “Ground Zero” mosque (Cordoba House for the literates among you), and homosexuals:

So, the Muslim investors championing the construction of the new mosque near Ground Zero claim it’s all about strengthening the relationship between the Muslim and non-Muslim world.

As an American, I believe they have every right to build the mosque – after all, if they buy the land and they follow the law – who can stop them?

Yes, surely, wingnut Greg Gutfeld thinks the mosque is a great idea.  Oh wait…

I’m announcing tonight, that I am planning to build and open the first gay bar that caters not only to the west, but also Islamic gay men. To best express my sincere desire for dialogue, the bar will be situated next to the mosque Park51, in an available commercial space.

This is not a joke. I’ve already spoken to a number of investors, who have pledged their support in this bipartisan bid for understanding and tolerance.

As you know, the Muslim faith doesn’t look kindly upon homosexuality, which is why I’m building this bar. It is an effort to break down barriers and reduce deadly homophobia in the Islamic world.

The goal, however, is not simply to open a typical gay bar, but one friendly to men of Islamic faith. An entire floor, for example, will feature non-alcoholic drinks, since booze is forbidden by the faith. The bar will be open all day and night, to accommodate men who would rather keep their sexuality under wraps – but still want to dance.

Neat.  He’s come up with a way to:

A. Be racist against Muslims

B. Feign a liking for The Gays.

C. Engage in a discriminatory game of “Now you gays and you Muslims fight!”

Isn’t that funny?  Roy Edroso’s read on this is on the money:

I hate Muslims so much, to get back at them I’ll even pretend to like fags.

Basically.

Of course, Steve M. at No More Mister Nice Blog points out that this is all sort of pointless because

Well, a bit of searching turns up the fact that there’s already a gay club — or a lesbian club, or at least a part-time lesbian club — down the street from the proposed Cordoba House. The address of Cordoba is 51 Park Place; at 27 Park Place, there’s Club Remix, which shows up at OutAdvisor.com’s Gay Travel Reviews because LipStik Productions runs a “Latin dance for women every 1st and 3rd Saturdays of the month only.”

Heh.  This is funny because there has been a Muslim community in downtown Manhattan for a long time.  I guess they’ve been able to coexist with their neighbors, the way that New Yorkers always have.

Steve adds:

So what have I learned from this? Number one, if you build anything culturally conservative in New York, you’re going to be surrounded by stuff that’s not at all culturally conservative. (And you can’t live here for any length of time without knowing that, so I strongly suspect that the Cordoba House people wouldn’t react to a next-door gay bar in a way that would fulfill Greg Gutfeld’s most sophomoric hopes.)

But where would Greg Gutfeld be without sophomoric hopes?

Also, read Tbogg on the subject.  His theory, and I think it’s a good one, is that this is a play to move from the 3:00 AM slot to the 2:30 AM slot, replacing the slightly-more-watched Who Wants To Take A Shower With Bill O’Reilly?