If you’re a garden variety homophobe, you might think the prospect of DADT repeal only involves gays and super-sexy shower scenes.  Oh, how wrong you are!  Robert Knight is here from Coral Ridge Ministries to explain how DADT Repeal is like Vietnam times forced abortions times Roman lions times infinity:

On the gays in the military issue, the left is deploying its favorite weapon – implying inevitability. That’s the tactic that scares wobbly Republicans who fear they’ll be “on the wrong side of history.” They won’t, if they stick to respecting the military and upholding our God-given, transcendent moral order. They need to see through the liberals’ theft of the moral capital of the black civil rights movement. Is being black really the same as Fred sizing up Larry for “the crime against nature”?

What are Fred and Larry going to do to nature?!  Are they going to drill miles down into Nature and cause her to erupt in some sort of spill that will kill off millions of other parts of Nature?  That would be awful!  Oh, wait, Robert Knight is worried that Fred and Larry are going to have consensual sex.  Earth to Robert:  Those two have been going at it for years.

Besides, whatever your position is on homosexual activism, this is first and foremost about ensuring maximum efficiency and combat readiness of our armed forces. It’s about giving our servicemen and women the best chance at victory and coming home alive. Injecting homosexuality into the barracks, showers, submarines and “diversity” training cannot possibly improve combat readiness or morale.

Maybe that would be true if our armed forces were made up of crusty old bigots like Robert Knight, but in the real world it’s not, and the troops don’t really care.  They just want people who will do their jobs well and have their backs.  Only sad, weak little homophobes like Robert Knight are worried about these things, and those aren’t the brave men and women we want in the best military in the world.

Anyway, ready for Knight to sound a bunch of wingnut alarms?

Forcing open homosexuality on the armed forces would destroy the volunteer military and bring back the compulsory draft. Since women are now deployed close to combat, and the only legal reason they are not eligible is their combat exemption, a new draft could include our daughters. And some would face pressure to have on-base abortions in order to complete their tours of duty.

The draft!  Ladies fighting!  Abortions!  This is all so delusional, it’s mindblowing.

Chaplains would be the first victims of Mr. Obama’s homosexualization of the military, followed by anyone who violated “zero tolerance” policies for homosexual acceptance. Bible-believing Christians would quickly find themselves unwelcome in Barney Frank‘s new pansexual, cross-dressing military.

Perhaps Knight doesn’t really understand what the hell military chaplains do.  They’re not there to teach the troops about how fags are going to hell and how “aborshun are killin’ babies.”  They’re there for spiritual guidance for the troops, in the situations the troops actually face.  And newsflash, Bob:  Not all the chaplains are bigots like you, because they’re forced to join the real world in ministering to people of many different religious backgrounds in the military.  I’m aware that Bob Knight’s version of the Christian faith thinks that it has a personal ownership stake in the United States military, but sadly, that is not the case in this secular nation.

Note how truly stupid Bob Knight is here, also, in that he can’t make a coherent argument and instead starts making gay jokes about Barney Frank.  Most teenagers I know have more moral authority when they speak, but if you’re a Fundamentalist, Knight’s probably the smartest one you’ve got, so whatever.

The military is a bastion of traditional values

Oh, like hell it is.  Have you ever seen the Navy when they come in for Fleet week?

and symbolizes America’s strength and independence.

One of the things they fight for is our freedom from Robert Knight’s pig ignorance, actually.  So yes.  There are already many, many openly gay and lesbian servicemembers, and they fight for Robert Knight’s right to believe whatever intellectually malnourished bollocks he wants, every single day.  What of equal honor has Robert Knight ever done?

One more wingnut alarm to sound, that of the Crying Masturbatory Fantasy About The Left That Actually Only Exists In Wingnut Minds:

Opening the ranks to open homosexuality will accomplish the left’s dream – undermining the military and transforming it into a wrecking ball against Judeo-Christian morality.

Robert:  The fact that you can’t pronounce the words that great liberal thinkers use does not automatically mean they’re plotting against you, so get a bunch of paper towels, wipe up the puddle you’ve just left on the internet, and PLEASE, change your underwear.  And no, you cannot sleep with the light on.

(h/t Alvin McEwen)