I just do not know what to do with this, but PZ Myers posted it, and that means I have to pass it on to you. It’s the website of a guy named “Herb Grossman,” dedicated to exposing the “evil” of acknowledging the fact (he calls it a “belief”) of evolution:

Hello, My name is Herb Grossman. Let me give you a preliminary idea of why I am so against evolution.

I’ve spent a lifetime solving problems for a living, and you don’t solve problems unless you use good logic and good data. The theory of evolution became my concern several years ago, and when I looked at some of its basics, its explanations just did not look right. I decided to make a serious study of this so-called “science” and became utterly amazed that evolutionists can use their childish thinking, make their claims, and still keep a straight face–how can adult human beings think that way? To be more precise–How can people use bad logic, ignore good data, and still have the nerve to claim to be scientists?

Yeah, so you can tell this is going to be totally sensible and chock full of factual citations.

Mr. or Miss Teenager of America, please read my articles closely. Your life will be much improved if you reject evolution and its way of thinking.

Ho-kay! He addresses most of his website to “Mr. or Miss Teenager of America,” so you can tell he’s got some weird fixations.

Let’s just get to the part about gayness, shall we?

No one has to be a homosexual, because—

—Homosexuality is a Cruel Deception,

Good deal. Wait, there’s more?

and you should not worry about possibly being a homosexual, because there is no such thing–

Fantastic. Rekers is in the clear, then.

homosexuality is an evil supernatural trick!

Dammit! And here I thought I was into dudes because my mom was such a pain. TELL ME MORE.

I still sometimes get supernatural “urges” towards perversions or homosexuality, but by immediately rejecting “it” (both physically and mentally), “it” goes away.

Crikey. If even “Herb Grossman” is taunted by the Supernatural Talliwhacker Goblins, are any of us safe?

What I write or say concerning belief in evolution being a major encouragement towards homosexuality is not meant to win some popularity contest.

But do not touch his tiara.

Some of you will laugh and think I am stupid for writing this

I can’t imagine.

but the shoes I have walked in—the years of aggravation while fighting off the cause of homosexuality—have given me a certain amount of sympathy for the homosexual and a hatred for the way evolution is such a big factor in keeping many of them trapped in their unfortunate perversion.

Lest any of you be waiting with bated breath to see how Herb is going to prove that believing in evolution causes Teh Gay, let me just spoil it for you: he doesn’t. I like the way this guy admits he likes dudes, though, the entire time he’s arguing against homosexuality. Rekers, you might have a career ahead of you yet!

Did you know?—One Wednesday night I became angry at a church concerning a speaker they had. I left, and that anger kept occupying my thoughts.

Put on your seatbelts.

At home I lay back on the couch (still angry) and fell asleep. The next thing I knew, a bearded man was pulling me up into a sitting position—he pulled me part-way up, then I fell back; he pulled me up again and then disappeared. Besides disappearing, the really supernatural part of this is that he was reaching through my chest, and I could feel his hands gripping my spine!

Does that seem bizarre, incredible?

No, Herb, happens to all of us. Anger. Sleep. Supernaturally raped by bears. And then morning again.

Also, even if you have no homosexual inclinations, your life will be better if you realize that there really are supernatural “people” with great powers, some of whom want to ruin or even destroy you and your life. Tricking some humans into the lifestyle of homosexuality is certainly one of their destructive objectives.

In case you were thinking “Well, I’ve never been violated by an invisible bear daddy so this isn’t about me,” do not close tab. You need to know about the other goblins, as well.

What follows is his long testimony of becoming a Christian, and I think even our more evangelical readers will agree that it reads like an extended hallucination. For instance:

‚ÄîOne time I was sitting on my bed and put my hand behind me to lean back. The palm of my hand landed on what seemed like a square hot-water bag. The “bag” then wiggled violently and disappeared.

To this day, Herb freaks out when he sees the Tea Party Express drive by.

Anyway, his new life with Jesus was going great until

It wasn’t long before I fell into about three months of doing perverse, homosexual acts with invisible, supernatural people/beings

It’s cheaper than rentboy.com, and you don’t even have to buy dinner. Anyway, yes, gay goblins?

Strong thoughts and sensations would get things started, but I was not the cause–no pornography used. Somebody had control of me!

Gay goblins who make the first move. Hawt.

(I did meet up with some visible demonic types, but those encounters, although weird, were not of a homosexual nature).

All the demons were women, you see.

One thing I can claim, though, is that while this “person” worked with my mind and/or body in many different situations, I can, fortunately, say that all of my “homosexual” activities were in private‚Äîand with no worldly being, human or otherwise.

Wait, what sort of “otherwise” would he possibly be talking about, that he would feel the need to include that? And is it me, or is it getting sad and lonely in the indented quotes?

The problem for the homosexual and the potential homosexual is that this supernatural “person” who instigates (starts) the homosexual sensations and thoughts may or may not make “his” existence known‚Äî

‚Äîand that is how the deception works‚Äîputting thoughts and sensations in your mind and body but not revealing “its” supernatural presence!

Oh, so you see, even if you’re not mind-numbingly insane to the point of inventing gay goblins to torment you, they might be in there hiding just the same, being very quiet!

My freedom from these attacks has not come easily.

In fact, Casper the Really Friendly (And Frankly, Surprisingly Forward) Ghost is trying to give me The Long Stroke right this minute, and I keep batting him away, but my hand…can’t…grasp…him…

So, Teenager of America, I would surely hope that you now accept that we live in a world that has powerful supernatural “people.”

I’m convinced. How about you, teenagers of America?

Anyway, at the end, there is an asterisk, with a clarification:

*I have never acted in any perverted/homosexual manner with any man or boy, nor felt any attraction/sensation towards the same.

Herb Grossman: Only gay for watchers, sprites, daemons, spirit guides, etc. Basically, if Sylvia Browne talks to it, it gives Herb a boner.

I trust that we’ve all learned meaningful lessons from this, yes?