Betty Bowers, America’s Best Christian‚Ñ¢, gave an exclusive interview to Instinct magazine, and it’s a must-read. One thing I noticed, though, is that her satire is so spot on that, except for an exaggeration here and there, it’s hard to tell Betty’s silliness and Linda Harvey’s virulence apart. (Again, except for Betty’s obsession with high fashion. And the fact that she’s more honest than they are.) For instance:

Nevertheless, such attention provides a lovely opportunity to introduce homosexuals to my BASH [Baptists Are Saving Homosexuals] ministry. I want gay men everywhere to know that Jesus touched me. And He can touch you, too. … BASH has raised millions in tithes for my tax-free Christian ministries, helped politically marginalize homosexuals and almost cured close to two men from their addiction to penis. As all Conservative Christians who just happen to hate homosexuals anyway know, being “gay” is just a silly choice, a choice most often made by anti-gay Republicans between the hours of 10 PM and Midnight.


But how is that really different from Linda Harvey’s career, or Peter LaBarbera’s career? Besides the fact that Betty Bowers is more honest about the actual results of the “ex-gay” ministries that Peter and Linda market, I mean.

Just like Peter LaBarbera and Linda Harvey, Betty bristles at being compared to Fred Phelps:

Other? You’re comparing me to Fred Phelps? Darling, that’ a bit like asking Tom Ford what he thinks about fellow designer Jessica Simpson. Honestly, I find Westboro Baptist appalling in their crude eagerness to reveal what they’re really up to. … We may hate all the same people, but we have learned to couch our loathing in more focus-group-friendly phrases than those ham-fisted prairie yokels at Westboro, with their blunt invective, polygamist-compound couture and patent unfamiliarity with hair conditioner. We talk in code. We don’t “hate fags;” we “pray for sinful homosexuals.” Frankly, these unsophisticated loudmouths are showing our hand. And politics, even more than a bathroom mirror, is no place for candor. I say: Love the sinner — hate their shoes!

God, it’s the interview Linda Harvey would give if she was hooked to a polygraph! (Except for the part about shoes.)

Seriously, read it all.

Instinct also posted Betty’s wonderful Bible lesson on “traditional marriage,” so if you haven’t seen that, watch and take notes, for there will be a quiz.