In the following video, a bunch of boy anacondas just cold writhe their snake bodies around this lady anaconda, and she is obviously a very loose lady anaconda, because she LIKES it.

Have these big snakes not heard that marriage is between ONE boy anaconda and ONE girl anaconda and decidedly NOT “a buncha dudes just slithering around a lady and tickling her sexy snake parts”?

Godless heathens.

They better not teach this to the children, or we’ll bitch and moan and file a whole buncha frivolous lawsuits, because this is a violation of my notion of natural law, yes it is, which I made up just now, and you can’t argue with that!

(h/t Pharyngula)