Sexuality is not a right, according to OneNewsNow, which cites the Orange County (Calif.) Board of Education as its authority on the subject.

The Christian Rightists of the American Family Association’s media organ might make exceptions for you — if you’re an evangelical heterosexual Republican and you ask them nicely.

“Homosexuality is not a civil right,” board chair Alexandria Coronado emphasizes. Nor is heterosexuality, unless it is preapproved by a Christian Rightist authority.